Top Surgery Countdown: 21 Days

Welcome to what it's like to keep living in the body of a trans nonbinary survivor.

Three weeks until top surgery. I have so much to say and feel about it that I haven’t been able to put it into words yet. Instead, I’m tracking progress on this Trans Joy collage. For this piece, I’m limiting myself to (almost) pink, white, & blue to represent the trans flag. The wolf and tiger are my guardians, so they belong regardless of color.

I used to finish my collages in one or two sittings, but I wanted to be slower, more meditative with this one. When my friend Susan mentioned that she would take months to work on a vision board collage, that idea took a lot of pressure off for me. I will probably still finish in the next few days, but that’s okay, that’s my pace, and I can start a new one if I need!

Speaking of— Last night, I made a mini collage in the middle of this collage. It’s 4 x 4 inch. The white background didn’t work so well with the glue stick, but it can be fixed.

Sometimes an idea or phrase will interrupt the current collage and so I follow that thread for a while and see where it takes me. (Or save it for later.) My next step for the trans joy collage is to work on the poem part. I never plan ahead and just start with which words stand out to me, or feel right for the topic I’m thinking about.

I’m so excited for top surgery. After an entire year of admin work and appointments, I’ll finally get to feel good in my body. I’m not holding myself to any schedule or output while documenting this.

My one wish for 2026 was to NOT lose another person close to me. I’m grateful for every single person who stays. I see you.

Thank you all for being on this journey with me!